In the previous series of issues, I brought to your attention to Self-Awareness: 1) enjoying the journey towards achieving goals; 2) personality; 3) emotional intelligence; 4) aligning your intention, feeling and behaviour. Now I would like to draw your attention to Self-Leadership.

Self-Leadership is about self-fulfilment, leading ourselves to fulfill our own interests and needs. First we fulfill our survival, safety and security needs, like all creatures do. It's honourable to make an honest living. Then we fulfill our needs that manifest our values and beliefs, which set us apart from other creatures. We pursue meaningful relationships, seek career satisfaction, advocate a cause and realize dreams.

We exercise our self-leadership daily to various degrees. While one person lets TV put him to sleep with a full stomach, another goes for a vigorous walk after her dinner. While one person settles for an okay companionship, another insists on seeking a resonating match. While one person gives up his dream in the face of adversity, another perseveres. Self-leadership is about honouring our life needs insistently.

While all human beings satisfy their survival and security needs, only extraordinary human beings fulfill their needs to manifest their values and beliefs. On April 12, 1980, Terry Fox dipped his artificial leg into the Atlantic Ocean and began to run across Canada to raise money for cancer research. He believed that human beings have the right to live their lives without suffering from cancer. In 143 days, he ran on average 23.3 miles per day, nearly the 26-mile marathon distance. Today, more than $400M has been raised through the Terry Fox Run worldwide. Many forms of cancer are now curable.

Terry once asked, "How many people do something they really believe in?" We can only answer it with action. If we don't, we really haven't believed. Those people who started Greenpeace in Vancouver in 1971 exercised their self-leadership by putting action and money where their mouths and beliefs are.

It takes honesty and determination to realize our values and beliefs. When Mother Teresa first started out - with no income - to help the poorest of the poor, she begged for food and supplies. She was temped to give up, but "to fail would have been to break the faith." She served countless people in her life. Yet first and foremost, she served her faith.

We are all capable of fulfilling our needs to manifest our values and dreams. Years ago my mother learned about my desire and challenge to become a gay parent. She suggested that I marry a woman, have a child, and then, if I still couldn't change my sexual orientation, divorce and keep the child. I declined. I didn't want to mistreat a woman. I wanted to be true to myself and my ethics. After a tortuous journey from surrogacy to co-parenting to adoption, I am finally expecting to become a parent early next year.

"Follow your bliss," said Joseph Campbell. Self-leadership makes the difference between a life existed and a life lived. Have you exercised self-leadership today? Have you...
- looked after your survival needs: worked for your living and eaten healthy food?
- looked after your security needs: driven safely and saved money for rainy days?
- looked after your love needs: shown love to your loved ones?
- looked after your esteem needs: done one thing that you enjoy, that makes you proud?
- looked after your self-actualization needs: taken a step towards your dreams