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Holidays are happy times for most of us. We're surrounded by family and friends; exchange gifts; go to parties. But there are exceptions. Some people feel blue or depressed by the holiday spirit that's all around. When we experience holiday blues, we need to access our emotional intelligence (EQ).

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand our own emotions and those of others, and to manage emotions to increase our wellbeing and improve our relationships with others.

One Sunny Saturday morning last month, I started feeling a bad case of the blues. After years of mental preparation I had begun the process of adopting a child. Suddenly I felt troubled by a possibility: what if I couldn't generate enough income down the road to meet the child's needs?

Using my traditional IQ approach, I began to tackle this possibility head-on. I drew plans to grow my current business. I drew backup plans for the if-everything-else-fails scenario. But my troubled mind could not be eased by the intellectually plotted plans.

I began to look for an EQ approach. The sunlight outside the window was appealing. I always enjoyed the outdoors. After sitting and plotting for a long time, my body felt ready for physical action.

I climbed up a ladder to my roof and began to replace some lose mortar between the bricks of the chimney with cement. The air was crisp and fresh. The sunlight kept me warm. As I progressed, the previously porous-looking chimney looked more and more solid.

This immediate feedback to my physical effort gave me a sense of satisfaction and confidence. (Those of you who have attended the Flow Into Your Potential workshop series know what I mean... in depth.) I began to hum: "Hey you, you're a child in my head… But I swear you'll be blessed... I promise that you'll be blessed..."

I sang on top of my roof, feeling confident that I could provide for this child, regardless. This song by Elton John that inspired me years ago was now inspiring me again. I felt completely happy. The EQ approach worked.

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If you ever need to escape the emotional blues this holiday season, try one of these activities:

• Go to nature;
• Do a task that gives you immediate feedback, such as organizing or cleaning your room / apartment / house;
• Access your inspirational music;
• Spend time with a good friend.

Emotional Intelligence can be improved through assessment, training and coaching. For further info, please visit our web page: Emotional Intelligence Applications, or call (416) 763-5347 for a free consultation session.